i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with
Ariana Brown & Arati Warrier - “Invisible” (CUPSI 2014)
"Before I know who is worthy, I have already opened my mouth for them."
A beautiful group piece from UT Austin, champions of this year’s College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational.
Bras are kind of a tough thing that most of us don’t really have any education on operating. They can pose difficulties for anyone but it’s a lot harder with no one helping us to figure them out and with wider rib cages and larger shoulders that some of us have, which makes the clasps and the straps tough.
There’s a lot of types of bras out there (I apologize about the “belly dance bra” section, every single resource I keep pulling up has a mention of it) but most of them work very similar. There are a few exceptions, the adhesive bra requires some unpleasant frittering around, the bandeau bra is easy as cheese to just slip on and some of the bras (like the convertible) will add on a bunch of strap related stuff to the normal procedure.
I’m not going to get into the sexytiems bras like peephole and boobshelf because they pretty much work the same they’re just all kinds of naughty, etc
So first things first, get yourself fitted! And get a bra that fits if you can, resources are tight these days.
So you have your bra. How do you put this ridiculous boob machine on?
There’s two main methods for putting on a bra with a back clasp and straps and fairly standard cups (or nonstandard cups that still work the same, like push up bras, soft cup bras, underwire bras, etc)
1: Clasping Behind The Back Method! aka Hard Mode
This is by far the harder one to learn but it’s also the faster one. If you can pull it off, you’ll stretch your bra less and struggle a bit less to position it right because it will be lined up correctly from the beginning.
- Make sure your straps and bra are not twisted. Your three sets of clasps should be facing Outwardly and the single line of hooks on the other side of the bra should be facing inwardly. Usually the adjustment parts of the straps should be facing away from skin to avoid digging in. You can often tell from the way your cups are (if they look deformed they might be in the wrong direction) if your bra is backwards or twisted
- Put your arms through your straps so that the cups rest in front of your breasts and the bra’s band is before your underbust area with each side dangling by your sides (If your bra is strapless you can skip this step, just align the cups to your chest and hold your band ends behind you, this method is very hard with strapless bras so you may want to go to method 2)
- Reach behind your back holding each end of the band. Keep your fingers by the set of hook spots you want to hook your bra to. Generally you want to be using the middle line of hooks but if your bra is slightly too big, you’ll be going to the innermost hooks and if it’s slightly too tight (often our issue, with smaller breasts and larger ribs) you’ll be going to the outermost hooks
- Try to hook both (or all three, more rarely there’s a single hook and that’s easier) hooks into the clasps on the other side. You may have to hook a single hook at a time, use your fingers to remember where everything is. Don’t strain yourself, you can always move the hooks back over to it if your arms are getting tired. The bra will press against your breasts awkwardly at this point, unless you adjust your boobs partially into them before clasping (and you can it’s just harder)
- Once you’re hooked up, finish any adjustments you need. Make sure your boob is fully in the cup, the band is lined up right under your breasts, it’s in mid spot of your back and the straps are secure and not twisted.
2: The Twist Method! aka Easy Mode
- Just like the other method make sure your bra isn’t twisted up. Make sure your cups aren’t inside out and your hooks are lined up correctly. This method isn’t necessary for front hook bras since you can see and access the hooks and clasps easily
- Take your bra and wrap the band around your torso. The cups can be at your back or at your side, either way you want your hooks and clasps to be within sight and easy hand reach. The bra doesn’t need to align with the position of your breasts yet and the straps shouldn’t be on you (make sure they are out of the way of your body, falling to the side of the bra and you)
- Clasp your bra together, middle hooks if properly fitted, outermost hooks if the bra band is a little small on you, innermost hooks if the bra is a little big on you.
- Rotate the bra around your body, keeping the straps from getting tangled or stuck until your cups are right below your breasts and the clasp is at your back.
- Pull the bra upward and put your breasts into each cup. Run your arms through each strap (you may have to do this before pulling the bra up) and line them up on your shoulders. Make sure the bra is snugly fitted over you and nothing is tangled.
3: Special Considerations aka Other Bra Etc!
- Many strapless bras will have surfaces on them that cling to your skin and will be tighter to hold them to your breasts. Hooking them using method 1 is often better because these surfaces can actually hurt a little when twisting them around
- Convertible bras are easier to do with method one if you’re crossing the straps in the back
- Halter strap bras will generally need you to put the strap over the back of your neck before doing method 1 and will require you to pull the bra slightly higher than your breasts to get the halter over your head and neck for method 2
- Front closure or front clasp bras can be put on using method one, except backwards. You pull on the straps and pull the band against your back with the cups hanging in front, and then pull the cups over your breasts, clasp them and make sure everything is loaded right. They are the easy mode bra and I love them but they also pop open disastrously sometimes lmao
- Boob shelves in clothing usually just require you to put on the clothing and line up the bottom of the shelf with the bottom of your breasts, with you adjusting your breasts into position within the shelf for your ideal look (nipples lining up, no squish out)
- Push up bras are really no different except that they have a little extra padding in the bottom that pushes your breasts higher. Push up bras are awesome for small breasted girls though because it can allow you to “fill” a cup you wouldn’t normally fill. A very nice boost if you want it.
There’s a few bras I didn’t cover here (like the boobie hell that is adhesive bras) so I’ll reblog any additional notes people have <3
— Thich Nhat Hanh (via culturejolt)